Conceal & Deny: Rules for a Scrapbook Addict
It happens every day. An otherwise in control women comes to the counter to purchase scrapbook supplies. Once she is told the total, she states "My husbands going to kill me!" Are you all really married to ogres who yell every time you spend a penny on Scrapbooking supplies?
All you failed to do was conceal or properly explain your spending habits. And how do I do that, you ask? Here are a few of my favorites.
1. Destroy the evidence. Toss all bags and receipts in the trash at the curb. Slip your supplies into you existing stash and he'll never know.
2. Cook your books. After you make a purchase just substitute the name of your local grocery store for the store name in the check registry and when he asks where all the money goes, tell him, "Hey, we have to eat" Caution: Watch out for duplicate checks!
3. Bribe the Kids. Keep all potential informers on the payroll. An allowance raise or unlimited Nintendo time might buy their silence, however with toddlers, all bets are off. But hey, if you can sell them Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. You'll think of something.
4. If your efforts at concealment fail and you are caught unpacking your latest purchase, these last ditch excuses will come in handy.
"I've Had That Forever!" If you followed Tip 1, this will be easier than if a dated receipt is hanging out of the bag.
"It was on Sale!" This excuse does not generally go over well with men, but you can try.
The Guilt Trip. "I was working on your album as a surprise but now just forget it!" Most effective when accompanied by hysterical weeping.
5. Change the subject. Ask him if he's been working out lately. Give him "that look". Make him forget what he was asking you in the first place.
6. When all else fails, DENY Everything!